I went to bed hoping that she didn’t see the things that I did to myself.

But I know she did.

I know she did.

She watched me ever so intently from the corner of her eye,

When I stood in the mirror and we made eye contact, she looked away,

For the brief moment our gazes held each other, it was like the blinding headlights of an oncoming car at 9:03 pm on a long night,

It was like the scalding burn of a hot cup of coffee,

Never ending, never ending,

She gasped in horror with ONLY her eyes,

They cut deep, as if it to say, “What have you done with yourself?” “To where belongs the person you used to be?”

With my eyes I say, “I do not know, I wish she were here too.”

And yes, we are the same person…

Nessa 💜

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