In Capitis

 

                   Like a nightmare I’m inside my head, tucked away like a half-priced rug,

                   Even I can’t make sense of what could be insecurities, unexplained self-hate, overshadowed with multiple pep-talks and nerve-wracking conciousness,

                    Look closely and you’ll find the void, the emptiness in my eyes, beyond that, there’s so much more going on in my head,

                    I hate to be that person, but there’s a piece of me that wants to stay put,

                    Please don’t come close, you have been warned,

                    Because even then it used to be me against the world and now? I’m fighting myself, you do not want to be a part of this mess,

                     Do you or do you not see the emptiness in my eyes? I promise it is not a death stare, it’s just me, but in deep thought, it’s me, but doused in unwholesome thoughts, painful flashbacks,

                     Even inside my head, there’s another person inside their head, in so deep, initiating chaos of sorts, keeping everything but hope alive.

But it’s okay, I’ll keep pushing, whatever that means.

 

 ~Nessa❤

     

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